Watch now as the ordinary transforms into the sacred.

graceful, peaceful, delicate.

Like the tree, transitioning from activity to rest.

The days are short, the nights are long. And so the earth rests (Crandell)

Imagining the depths of loneliness in a world bustling with life. Decaying amidst the birth of new promise. Mocked in vulnerability and desperation until a final breathe.

I was awakened through my own suffering in preparation towards the death of your body. Brought to a place of strength, in a moment of tranquility that I had not known for some time. Only to be forced to face the finality of loss that haunted my life in ways that I did not know for so long.

There is a longing in me that won’t die.

Somewhere it is tied to the beings that give me life. Lyla reminds me of the beauty of the night. The ‘certain darkness that is needed to see the brightest stars’, and Kareem, shows me the generosity we are able to taste through the love we exchange on earth. Alhamdullilah.

I can only hope that mercy brings her compassion to my lips so that I may taste the beauty of her promise, for myself. That when I am alone and I can finally journey to possibility, it is with promise and not only despair. My heart pulls me towards dreams of possibility. To the fantasy that possibility cries. And so I dream. And I mourn the impossibility of the fantasy. But perhaps, in your death, part of my suffering dies too? And so I wish to mourn the longing and fearful side of imagining, and to embrace the beauty of possibility in another time. In another place.

Set me free. Not so that I may run. But so that I may remain standing.

Watch now the autumn leaves fall. Following the sacred rhythm of the earth. Knowing that when leaves die, the tree remains. We cannot resist that which cannot be resisted. We must let go of that which is not meant to remain. The tree when “well planted cannot be uprooted, and what is well embraced can not slip away”. Autumn teaches us to let go. Each new wind brings possibility. As we rest, remember that soon the leaves will sprout towards the heavens again. Nothing is lost. As they say, love never dies. It continues on.

Let go in order to remain